I’m a choosy person, I continue to believe this is why I’ve been single for five years and not because I’m destined to lay naked on my bedroom floor screaming Adele lyrics at my twenty-seven cats. Hopefully this poem shows a little bit more why I’m so choosy.
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We’d lay side by side, one
Lover and I.
Print off the lyrics to our
Favourite songs and highlight the
Best parts. Make our own melody of the stories they left behind and
Touch our hearts the most.
Then sing them
Over and over
Like a broken record player we’d hoard like our hearts hoard love.
Then we’d
Read poems that
Mentally make us melt by
Edgar, Allen or Robert Hayden and how they only ever wanted true love.
Not like the love me and this lover have but
Maybe the one before and after and
After and before.
The sensation that is stirred between is enough to overrule the love that’s never found within ‘cause
Between the two of us
We’d explore the passionate curiosity that kills the kitty kat, and
We’ve only got three lives left to share.
We need to be more careful
Yet
Under the night sky, we’d
Morph into the demons our nightmares despise
And howl at our godfather up in the sky –
Dominating the darkness with his light,
Illuminating us as we act out our desires in front of
An audience, even though I never sent out any invitations.
Maybe that one did.
Then one lover,
This was the lover
I’d allow to molest me with his mind and
Mould me into the lover he’d finally learn to love.
We, we,
We’d,
My lover and I would,
We’d become one under the sheets
Let our bodies get to know each other
- a blind date of our loins as they act like they’ve never met before.
Before this.
Before you, and
You.
A lover and I discussed the dangers of love then
Let our hearts make love under a full moon just like this but
I never allowed any sleepovers.
Yes they’d certainly leave before the lights come on.
But sometimes,
Sometimes,
We’d tape sheets over my window to prevent the sun from welcoming us back to reality.
So we’d linger forever in the darkness we’d christened with our deeds and did what we do best and then
Me and one lover would
Rip my blinds off, so
When we were done we could stare at the morning and
Remind ourselves of our previous passion by listening to yesterdays wind;
Who was watching and taking notes to pass on to the lovers next door.
So I wonder.
Between my lover of today and
The one I’ll choose for tomorrow. I wonder whether
People know what they’re missing out when they
Demand I choose one.
The guy that’ll only read me stories at bedtime or
The guy that’ll only rub my back while he rubs my front.
And that one,
That one guy who bit me all over while he stroked me all under and told me he loved me; if though he never really meant it,
or
the guy who never told me he loved me, when he meant it all along.
No.
I don’t think they know what they’re talking about.
Because I simply have too much love
to give to just one.
I go on and on about how much I wanna settle down and find a man to be with forever and ever and ever but, like, who the heck is gonna tick all the boxes on my checklist? I don’t really have a ‘boyfriend checklist’ (well, I kinda do), but who doesn’t. Everyone has preferences and I’m adamant that the next time I settle down, I won’t be settling. The problem is, I can’t really picture myself really settling down sometimes. I have way too many issues of my own to deal with someone else’s but I have faith, I know that looking for a man doesn’t necessarily I’m going to find the right one.
Apart from listing the attributes of some of the previous, um, friends, I have had, this poem shows how good of a time you can have with someone that may be 80% – all the while though, I worry about the 20% that always seem to be missing. What is wrong with me? I’m happy in my independence, but damn, I get so lonelyyyyyyy (Janet Jackson for those who didn’t catch that).
Sigh – nevermind, I know my time for a great love life will come when I least expect it; so until then, I continue to plan to be choosy lover.
About Yemi
I'm Yemi Oyefuwa. Semi professional basketball player, but working on it. Student at University of Maryland. Aspiring writer. Lover of music and movies (and food). Eclectic in every way. Follow me on twitter: @yemSTAR14 for randomness and like my Facebook Page: Yemi Oyefuwa for poetry ♥