I could conjour up some nonsense about how I’m infact not a bitch just merely opinionated with super low bullshit tolerance, however that’s not the case! I am a bitch and super good at it. If you don’t like it, I just don’t care! Now this isn’t anything that your used to, out of the ordinary, slightly unusual but I’m sure you’ll get used to it, infact let’s just refer to it as ‘constructive criticism‘, how bout that.
The Brit Awards! What’s usually refered to as a bias gathering of industry snobs, last night celebrated its 30th year. I was lucky enough to be surrounded by these middle aged, middle classed, music executives, who haven’t the foggiest about todays music scene. However what’s usually a shamble of an award ceremony went suprising smooth, yes there were a few minor hiccups reguarding microphones but overall the show went well!…really?!…No!…Of course not, don’t be silly.
Firstly I’d like to express how utterly gaunt and unattractive Miss Cheryl Cole looked as mimed her way through her so called performance. Ok, so this chick can dance I give her that much, her and her 20 million back up dancers, but must we be tortured by the sound of her voice, as if her speaking isn’t bad enough. The highlight of the Janet Jackson inspired performance was the mix into Steve Angello’s “Show Me Love”, unfortunately it soon reverted back to the shrieks of Cheryl.
Other cringe worthy performances came from the oh so moist JLS, who felt the need to plummet from the sky. Super Tipsy Lily Allen who was feeling upstaged by the infamous Lady Gaga, later changed into a ridiculous orange. wig in a super sad attempt to be noticed. Lilly no one cares!
Speaking of Gaga, the self acclaimed fashionista arrived in a white lace cat suit with matching mask and over the top head wear. Surprised? Not even a little! What we were slightly shocked about were Gaga’s tears of joy after receiving her 3rd award, Its a Brit for goodness sakes not a bloody Grammy…save your tears luv.
Dizzie Rascal‘s performance with Florence and the Machine was amazing! Simples! The mix of genres and chemistry between the two performers proved to be an unexpected treat, speaking to “rascal” himself he later explained the two things he doesn’t do before a show…get head & get high! Hmmm ok?! moving on swiftly!
Obvious show stealers were Jay-Z and slightly hot…ok stupidly hot Alicia Keys, who indeed sung her heart out and tapped away on her little piano keys.
At the very least I was entertained, however not by the talent!
________________________________________________________________________________________
Meet Super Bitch. She’s a colleague of ours from University and infact I call her hoodlum but honestly she’s quite the opposite. Personally I like to diss people and I can usually get away with it but quite frankly, you can never do that with this chick. She’ll comeback with something far worse that will make you wish that you were still in yo momma’s womb. More from Super Bitch soon!
About Yin